So I decided to make a list of things that upset me about myself. Sorta like a venting thing. You can pay attention you can choose not to.... I don't know I don't think I care... but here it is

~I am epileptic
~My mom doesn't trust me on my own
~my dad and my grandma are verbally abusive
~I hate my dad
~I'm scared to ask my dad for help
~I want my grandma's approval
~I've been drawing all my life and still stuck
~I compare myself to everyone around me
~I'm a hypocrite
~I'm a liar
~I have no talent
~I'm failing at life and don't know how to ask/ accept help
~I don't have my own style an I hate it
~I sometimes talk bad about my friends
~Some of the people I'm closest to and would be most upset if I made them mad I will probably never meet face to face
~I'm trying to develop my own style but can't
~I enjoy doing line art and coloring but nobody recognizes coloring
~I want to become famous
~I don't have the money to make my dreams come true
~I hate my life
~I cry myself to sleep excessively
~I hate most of the world
~I want to leave a mark but am not skilled enough at anything to do so
~I hate crying in public
~I keep my emotions bottled up because whenever I show anything other than happy people think I need to be 'fixed'
~I have mental breakdowns at work